29/07/08
Start as you mean to go on... -
Categories: If the above phrase is true then I am truly in for the worst Edinburgh festival known to humankind. Luckily today has already been a damn sight better
but yesterday truly made the term 'Road to Hell' eat its own face and cry about life in front of its friends at someone else's party.
Usually I rave about trains. As someone who spends far too much of life sitting in traffic on motorways wishing I had a monster truck or a gadget car
that has extendo-wheels, trains are normally those few hours of solace where I can sit comfortably, letting someone else do the driving while I watch
sheep happily regurgitating in a field outside the window. Yesterday though, National Express ruined a large portion of my life that I will never get
back to the extent where I would happily pollute the earth tirelessly if I can ensure I will never endure such utter despair. After queueing (yes queuing
for a train. The world is wrong) for 30 minutes, we were told 2 mins before boarding that the train was cancelled. What then followed was the closest
people have been to animals as train punter fought train punter for space on the following three trains as backlogs of passengers decided it was almost
worth losing limbs just to get to their destination as early as possible.
In the end we (the Tea and Cake posse) shared 3 seats between four in first class. Due to lack of space to rehearse lines we instead resorted to banter and
doing puzzles in the newspaper, which encouraged other members of the carriage to join in with answers. Similar to evacuations during the war,
but also not really similar at all, our tragic event had brought people together which meant for the first time ever I finished a crossword in the Independent. To be
fair I'd never done a crossword in the Independent before, but that's not the point.
On top of all this pain, my laptop also died yesterday, which is why this daily blog has not yet happened daily. This was the laptop that had all the sound
effects for our show on it. The laptop that had all the scripts on it, and the laptop that meant I could change my facebook status between shows.
I managed to take it to a repair shop which means it will now be 7 -10 days before I have to stop using Sam's laptop. Obviously these Apple people have no concept
of emergency. Here is a picture of me being very sad while repair man was bored of his eyes will the dullness of his tedious job.
This was not the best of days.
Luckily today has already taken a massive turn for the best. Waking up in our flat this morning I realised just how good it is. Unlike last year's flat, this one is
actually near everything and doesn't have a lonely psycho as a landlord. Its been nice to head down a tad early and take in the city before its filled with screaming
flyerers, stilt walkers, sh*tty American students and general mayhem. Although at the moment its eerily quiet. No posters are up, no hustle and bustle and no
cow head attached to the body of the Uddebelly which means it looks like a giant purple farmyard accident. Its the calm before the storm. After yesterdays madness its very much appreciated. Things can only get better, and if they don't, I will sue National Express.
Quick points:
I finally met Sean Grant today who I will be doing a show with for a month. He is funny and ace so all good. Not sure what I would have done if he was tedious
and not ace, but luckily do not need to worry.
Quorn Scotch Eggs do taste like pork.
Ed at the Underbelly has no idea how to make veggie burgers.
Bringing a bottle of water on stage can become a 5 minute talking point.
More blogs tomorrow hopefully and I promise it will have substance!
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