02/08/08
Booze, Reviews, and Bloom -
Categories: Orlando Bloom was hanging around in the Underbelly courtyard today flyering for his sister's show. The amazing irony that perhaps the worst performer
in popular entertainment was receiving more attention than any of the shows that were happening was almost too much to bear. After constant discussions
in our flat about how Elizabethtown is the worst film ever, it took all our strength to not shout abuse at him and his wooden face. Good on him though for
flyering despite his ridiculously over-rated Hollywood status.
So once again, the blog stopped being daily for a while. The last few days have been akin to a roller-coaster, if roller-coasters were really expensive
and less fun. On the first day of the fringe I had somehow got suckered into doing five shows. Yes, five. I immediately understand that that makes me
an idiot. What I should have been doing is focusing on the two shows that were most important. Strangely though it felt the right thing to do, and
by having to run from show to show, I didn't have enough time to panic about any of them, and instead enjoyed each one for what it was. They all went
well, or at least I thought, and I congratulated myself of nothing screwing up on day one, by drinking myself into a steady stupor at the List Launch
Party. This was by far the most stupid mistake of the day.
I seem to have no willpower in Edinburgh when it comes to going out, and much of last year's fest descended into me not really ever sleeping and
rapidly making my liver hate me. Its something about the atmosphere that makes it difficult to turn down booze when everyone else is out and enjoying it.
Last night it happened again, despite giving myself a deadline by which I had to be back at home. This was ruined by the constant appearance of
various different comics and people I know until at 3.00am when I finally escaped the library bar, I walked straight into Carey Marx, Nick Doody and Kirsty
who all persuaded me to drink with them at the Udderbelly, resulting in today being far more difficult than it should have been. I think I have managed
to reach an all time record of getting a sore throat within just two days of the fest. I hope if.commedie recognise this as a worthy new award to hand-out.
I had reason to go out and drink last night as yesterday we received our first review of our sketch show on Chortle and it was pretty damning. So far
the audiences have liked it, but wow the reviewer hated every second. Its a shame to have that as your first review of the fest, and it took some
moping about to regain our confidence in time for today's show. We also overran yesterday discovering that (partly my fault for mis-reading) although
we originally agreed a 55 min show time slot, we were only contracted for 50. So 7 mins cut from the show, and a bad review, it wasn't a good way to start.
Today has been better. Doing two shows a day is really tiring, but I am enjoying the break from sketch that the stand-up show gives me. Today, like yesterday
, there is an extra show to do as well, and then I have at least three shows everyday till Wednesday. I'd better buy some strepsils.....
Last note. Two of my favourite fringe moments ever happened today:
1) The man overacting as a hunchback on the Royal Mile for one of the many nuts productions being made to look like a massive prick as Matt Forde
and James Sherwood took it in turns to openly mock him and his production. it was harsh, but by god it was the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Sometimes
these thesps need to be told just how ridiculous they look and sound.
2) Friend and writer/director of Because It's There at the Underbelly, Adam Brace, explaining to me on the Royal Mile how the fringe was full of people
with no dignity. As he was in the middle of the phrase 'Leave your dignity at the door', he was interrupted by a half naked pigeon chested man
singing opera while his friend used the bin as a drum. Magic.
Comments:
Permalink
03/08/08 @ 14:49 
Thanks so much for your comment. I'm sorry I have managed to offend you and many other Bloom fans with my bitter and jealous comments. I don't completely dislike Orlando's acting as I am a big fan of his role as Legolas in the Lord Of the Rings films. I think he played that emotionless wooden character almost perfectly. When you think of all the great Hollywood stars with incredible acting skills such as Brando, McQueen, Pacino, etc etc Bloom is clearly up there with them all in his uncanny ability to play a lifeless corpse in everything that he does. I can only imagine he spends days training himself to be in such a state of being 'dead inside'.
I think Mark Kemode (critic of the Observer and BBC) sums it up best with his review of Pirates of the Carribbean 3:
"As for poor old Orlando Bloom, where does one start to document the tidal wave of wetness which he brings to these proceedings? No matter how much sea water Verbinski throws at the set, nothing gets as damp as Mr Bland, whose expressions run the gamut from perky to peeved with occasional interludes of petulance."
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2006/jul/09/actionandadventure.sciencefictionandfantasy1
I'm sorry that my previous comments mean that thousansds, nay, millions of Orlando fans will never see my work.
All the best
T
Permalink
04/08/08 @ 02:12 Because the critics really liked Orlando in the play In Celebration last year.
Permalink
04/08/08 @ 16:59 Oh, hang on....
Seriously, I thought I was the only person in the universe reading your blog. And now I find there are actually people out there bothering to leave comments!
Oh, hang on...
Permalink
05/08/08 @ 13:08 This post has 1 feedback awaiting moderation...
RSS Feed